Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
