There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
