So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
