I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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