4 words: hood of his car
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
