Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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