Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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