idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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