theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
