that's an acceptable place to lick
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
