just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
