sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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