So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
