Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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