I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Are my feet made of real feet?
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
