you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
