Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
