I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
