finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I intend to get homeless drunk
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
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