he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
