Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
