She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
