I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
