I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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