Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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