I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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