This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
