I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
