Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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