How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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