My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
