I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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