i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
