apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
