Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
