I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
