so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
