Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
