He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize