looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
