I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
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