What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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