I met the friendliest cop last night
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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