Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
