how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
