please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
