the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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