okay pat passed out under dana's car
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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