While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
