she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
