I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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