I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I skipped work to stalk him.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
