im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I think I just shit out all my problems.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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