i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
