So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
