Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
What a dumb baby whore.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
