Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
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