really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Ladies don't puke and tell
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize
