I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize