so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
