I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
