i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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