it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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