he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
