The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
