It's Friday. Sex?
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
